When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives

How do todays parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty and even thirtysomethings who cant seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who cant get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? Whats the right strategy when our smart, capable adultolescents wont leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids arent all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed?In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist whos been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and selfimposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that did everything right and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they havent, at least, not yetand meanwhile, were letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships.With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, lifeaffirming message to parents who are still trying to fix their adult childrenStop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of Im Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!